take-u-away

I took leave today for my own marathon training, running from home to bishan park, then go through the park 1 round, then continue along the running track along the kallang river towards potong pasir, where my old secondary school is. From there, i go through the potong pasir estate then go along upper serangoon road towards serangoon central, then along lorong chuan, to ang mo kio ave 1 then back home to ave 10. Well, i didnt run throughout the whole journey though, i started walking while i travelled through the potong pasir estate, went back to running along upper serangoon road, but started walking all the way from serangoon central onwards.

Not that my legs can’t take me anymore, but my mind wouldn’t. I’m bored, just bored. I just recalled WBG’s blog about being ready when God wants to end one’s life. So i asked myself this question, if God were to end my life today, am i ready?

The answer is a definite YES! Why? cos i’m bored. What do you do when you find the game you are playing is boring? I’ll stop playing. TV show boring? switched it off. Book is boring? Stop reading and cast it away. I’m not suicidal, just bored. Since primary school to uni studies, i haven’t really been putting much effort in my studies, i was just slacking along, but i never managed to fail any subjects no matter how tough the papers are. I earnestly thank God for that, and i’m sorry that i didnt put in efforts to achieve good results, when i should have. Well, i’m just bored, for a few times during my secondary school days, i felt encouraged to want to be the best in my class, at least in a particular subject. I did tried, and somewhat achieved it, but after attaining it, i don’t really feel any good about it. So i decided not to. The same when i was in poly year 1, i did a lot for my studies, not out of wanting to achieve something, but just of pure interest. That time i even managed to secure a scholarship for my entire 3 years of my poly. But i was diverted of my attention and grew bored of my studies. I just lack the motivation and the something i want to get it badly to make me work for it.

Now that i graduated, i can start pursuing the goals i once had when i was in uni, or rather the goals that make me want to go to uni. But i just feel bored of it. So what if i reached the goals? And i don’t have any motivations to make me work towards my goal to start with. There are many things i want to do, and should be doing, i know i can achieve them, but i am just procrastinating. Because i’m just bored. No, i’m not feeling any emo-ness, or suicidal, i’m just bored… *yawns**. p.s.  I took part in the marathon this year, because i’m just bored, hoping that it can bring me some excitement…

Maybe i should quit my job and become a missionary to some developing countries, then i can see how the people are suffering or working hard for their own destiny, maybe it’ll arouse my heart to start doing something. Well, it’s just a thought, no motivation to do that also, cos i’m bored.

God, if you have nothing more for me, please do take me with you (if that is the case :p), cos i’m bored…. I’m sorry that you have given me so many talents, but i have used none to further your kingdom. Please give me some motivation to get me working…. i’m too unmotivated and bored… *yawns** yawns** still yawning******