take-u-away

I want to buy 10 new T-Shirts to replace my old boring ones
I want to buy 2 billabong or OP board shorts
I want to buy a pair of nice slippers
I want to buy a pair of nike sneakers
I want to play guitar and learn new songs everyday
I want to buy a pair of angelfish for my fish tank
I want to buy more plants to furnish my fish tank
I want to go wala wala at least once a fortnight
I want to go KTV at least once a fortnight

I just did a very stupid thing. I did a ppt for lab2. I should have use the time to do hrm or learn php! maybe i too desperate or wat i don noe. maybe i haven’t let the thought go away completely, cos i haven’t got outrightly rejected. Oh no! must i wait for it to happen?

Sianz~ I think i know the result already by the other replies i got, thru msn and sms, and the way you treat me during day times. Although nothing specific is said.

My attitude towards it now is to just keep on as usual, hope that something good will happen but don’t expect anything to happen. Stupid! hope distraction will come fast~

wah…… today v siong! woke up at 7, cos need to reach school by 9.30pm to help set up the place. haha, although i reach there in time, seems like we do things too slow, taking our own sweet time, causing the practise to start late. V blur~z, don’t know what to do also. haiz~, i brought my guitar, thinking i can play by myself when they start practising, in the end, lend it to someone else. Well , nvm. at least i get a few moment of quiet time to relax a bit.

When i reach Attributes for duty, i was really v tired le. Man, feel like sleeping all the way. Got an expresso and haribou to keep me awake. But the service was really v good. at first i tought i’ll sure sleep in the service, but end up the service was all the way praising and worshipping God. No sermon! Really got the presence of God in the service. Wow man! the service really power.

Then after service, i received a shocking message from qiuwen, asking me to help andrew with logistics early in the morning 9AM!!!!! wah~! y so last min. Haiz~ had to reject her, feel v bad.

Seems like CY’s not responsive at all with my msgs today. hmm……. haha, did she read my blog? God~ are you starting the test again? Well, i still don’t think it’s a good test if it is supposed to be. I’m quite prepared to lose her anyway, and we all know that i will still go back to SS if i were to stump again. It’s always like that. Can you change the environment a bit? I’m getting bored of this leh!!!! Result always the same. not that i too stubborn, but who else can i talk to? oh man, wait so long still don’t want to reply me. forget it then, i’ve done what i can do already, u got to decide if u want to accept me le….. that’s the best i can do. if you don’t want, i also no choice. SS is still the best!

(p.s. cy -> if u r reading this, rest assured u can still ask me for help, i’m as usual always, even if u dont drink my cup of tea)

Today i went with junxiang go to the makansutra hawker centre beside esplanade for dinner. Wow, the hokkien mee is really good. But then the carrot cake not that nice lah. After that we walk all the way in the direction of raffles place, wanting to go chinatown. but later divert back, we decided to go to the new national library instead. haha. walk one big round. Reason being i was feeling nolstagia about the last time me, A* and R* went out on the day b4 my school starts. Don’t know how’s she now. I haven’t be in contact with her for quite a while, got distracted by someone else. Wah lau, am i too flirt or what? Haha, i don’t think i’ll be with her also. Seems like v hard to get her out other than studies. Nevermind, i already knew it would be like that le.

I feel that God let go of me by 1 finger with the A* case, and that’s her. And He’s gg to pull back the finger sometime, cos i feel the test is not over yet, just extra time.

On the way back on mrt, i plugged in my mp3 player. The song came to my mind -> wonderwall. That’s the song i learned of it at Wala Wala. Oh man! I miss the place! I WANT TO GO WALA WALA! I missed the music! I missed the 1-for-1 house pour! I missed the bouncer-liked waiter i think call Nathan. I WANT TO GO THERE NEXT FRIDAY!!!

start asking now…….. Anyone who saw this blog wants to go wala wala next friday? 2-Sept-2005. Msg me at hp 9658 5234!!!

It’s so long since i continue blogging. Haiz….. wat’s gone was never meant to retrieved. At least i got it ended with a full-stop. It was peaceful for quite a while. I never knew it will come again so fast, haha…… i thought. But i think this will not continue too, just another same old game. I’m not going to fall again this time. I got enough reasons. I think it’s just curiosity and acquiring of help that draws her. And that’s all. Previously i still thought it was an opened door, and i tried to open mine. Nah! It wasn’t. What a trick. I’m going to close my door, anyway, someone had stayed inside for so long already. And the room is always warm.

I like to watch movies, go shopping, singing, play guitar, karaoke. Other than that, i’ll want to play basketball, go swimming, jogging, reading and looking at my fishes. When i watch movie, i like to watch films relating to more everyday life rather than big scale action-packed, heavy casted trilogies. I love music and everything related to music.

I detest people who claim to be your friend, who would show care and concern for you when you are in hard times, but is only talking, expressing and no action. It’s like a religious duty to them, doing the right things. Which they got it all wrong by just reading the text aloud, but didn’t perform any of the commandments. They just add on to the problem.

But they are actually the better ones. There’s another type of people who would carry the book around with them all the times, they read the book right through don’t know how many times. Some of them are even regarded as scholars. They perform what the book instructs them to, but only the parts that are more glamorous, evidential and the clean and easy jobs. They selectively forgot the other parts and people still see them as masters and leaders.

One of my greatest problem is that i have these 2 groups of people around me now!

( :-O I need to sleep le, got to wake up early tmr and it’s already past 2.30am le. I’ll continue next time)

I finally got a reply sms. The result is expected. My mood was v down for the whole day. I played the song “jie kou” repeatedly all the way from MRT to school, during free access in CL2, until i step into DIG Lab. After that, i really don’t have the mood to go lecture anymore, so i skipped both the lectures. Around 4.30+, i finally get off my bums and went to serve. But my heart was not there at all. I even took the wrong bus!! Wat stupidity! Got to Marine parade on bus 36, then U-turn back to SIS on bus 16. Even when i was there serving, i still can’t leave the memories behind. Was very quiet, so quiet even ple start to question me. I think i might not have the chance to watch “charlie choc factory” and “bewitched” le. Will she jio me? I pray she will.

Today is the day i’ve being waiting for so long. i finally cannot endure it anymore and spoke out the words. I did prepared for it, fast and prayed for 3 days. I can onli say thru sms, cos i know i certainly won’t be able to have a chance to talk directly, not even on the phone. I sent the msg but i got no reply!!!! I’m really afraid that there’s not even a chance to get a sms reply. But even if there’s a reply, i still think i won’t be able to accept it. I know the result won’t be anything good, and i don’t know wat i’ll be after i got th result……. waiting for tmr

Haiz…… today was really a bad day for me. Try to talk to her but Her reply was always the same. Sad…… think i spoke the wrong word to Her! Zen Me Ban?
had dinner with agnes, but she so shag out, i feel tired myself listening to how she talk. (20 min………….) chat with rachel a moment ago, haha, one of the few whom i can talk more openly to, other than dora or maybe mel. feel like i’m really gg crazy. …. “Gei wo yi dian chi de ba ah?” (siao!)

God, i want to try to fast again for this 3 days. Make me strong, so i can protect others. Stabilise me and humble me if you would, cause me to be relevant to this world i do not understand and make my foothold be grounded by your word. Wipe out my enemies and keep me away from evil, for i am your children. Forgive me my sins as i forgive those who sinned against me. Blessed is the Lord, mighty and beloved. Praises to Jesus, who took all sins away ang wonderful is the Holy Spirit. The kingdom of God reigns forever! Amen!